When Motherhood reaches a breaking point, where can a mother turn?

The Lindsay Clancy case brings up so many aspects of a woman’s identity after motherhood and what it means to suffer from a mood disorder in the postpartum period.  Caring for children is a task that is often expected of a mother, even if she has an established career.  The medical healthcare system failed to respond adequately to Lindsay when she reached out multiple times for help.  The issue of a mother's mental health is often dismissed, easily overlooked, and the consequences are devastating.  Three beautiful children were murdered and an entire family is traumatized and left to process this deep pain. This case highlights the constant question, “are mothers believed when they are asking for help?”   

These precious children were raised in a community that knew about them and saw their mother with them.  Lindsay Clancey’s family and extended family missed the red flag warning signs of Lindsay’s suffering, since information is not widely available to the public about Postpartum mental health.  This immense loss for Lindsay Clancy will be a part of her memory for the rest of her life.  She deserved compassionate care before this happened, at the onset of her medical emergency for acute care, and even now after she relived her trauma on trial.  The mental health community doesn’t even have postpartum psychosis as a stand alone diagnosis in the DSM (Diagnostic Services and Manual) V, the diagnostic manual for guiding mental health professionals.  This case also invokes fear in that when a mother does come forward to get help they may not get the proper care, and the results could be terrible. In this blog I will address why so many mothers are responding to this trial with deep empathy and how to reconcile with the heavy issue of mothers continuing to carry the burden of silently suffering.   

Postpartum Psychosis

Not enough is being discussed or researched about postpartum psychosis.  When postpartum psychosis happens, it’s easy to get lost in the shuffle of what it means to ask about a loved one’s mental health issues.  There likely was a lack of action taken with Lindsay Clancy’s case because it appeared that she was getting help.  It appeared that Lindsay was waxing and waning with symptoms.  It was apparent during the testimony of the trial that many of the professionals who came into contact with Lindsay Clancey struggled to understand postpartum psychosis and what it may look like when a mother starts to show the unraveling symptoms of a postpartum psychotic break.  There is an urgent need for awareness among medical professionals in psychiatry and more research needed to prevent this from happening to another woman.  It’s hard enough to come forward with a common issue such as depression. The onset of postpartum psychosis can occur rapidly over a few days. The delay of responding to this is catastrophic.  

When more research exists for women during their pregnancy and after, this allows for an understanding about how to best respond when women ask for help.  It is a struggle for pregnant women to talk about scary thoughts. Professionals need to stay educated and updated on the research to guide mothers to the appropriate levels of care. 

Identity in Motherhood

The transition of becoming a mother is immense and the pressure of caring for an infant every day is so intense that women are often left feeling isolated.  Mothers are typically the ones caretaking for their children and their partner is typically working.  At best, their partner is granted some paternity leave from their employer and then the mother can feel some relief.  Eventually a mother’s partner has to return to working full time and she is left alone with the new responsibilities.  Those first 12 weeks of postpartum infant care are a sleep-deprived world where it cycles into a lot of unrealistic expectations in which mothers are expected to do it all by themselves.   Some women have to decide between staying at home and forfeiting their career, while others may choose to send their child to daycare.  However, that requires that a woman has a career to return to and the emotional bandwidth to handle working both in and out of the home.  

This emotional strain of working both in the home and at a workplace can be very overwhelming.  It can also be very costly.  Sleep training your child can be agonizing especially as the pressure to return to work runs into conflict with keeping up with your breast milk supply and making sure you are fueling your body with proper nutrition.  Many mothers are masking their pain, saying “I’m fine” especially if they feel like their children are at risk of being taken away. A mom knows she must  appear “stable”  and avoid the stigma of being unable to care for her children. Mothers have been conditioned to appear differently than what is going on inside. 

The Medical System 

Lindsay Clancy was a labor and delivery nurse with experience helping mothers deliver their babies and her career was built on supporting women.  However, when it was her time to feel supported by the psychiatrists she had, she was met with a serious lack of professionals understanding her symptoms of psychosis.   She tried her best to get help and was hospitalized for inpatient care for 3-4 days. For her basic emotional needs to be met, professional medical psychiatrists could have coordinated her care the way they would with a medical emergency.    No one met her needs because maternal mental health is not taken seriously enough.  It is a vicious cycle as mothers are expected to keep pushing themselves to care for their children.  Mothers are their family’s safety net and if a system is constantly failing them, they will continue to be the fragile safety net. It is hard enough to come forward with their own acute mental health needs.  Mothers themselves can relate to the fact that they too can fall into the narrative they have been fed that “I’m fine,” and ignoring their basic needs, feeling overtired, pushing through, and sacrificing too deeply to fulfill the caregiver role.  

Her Family Was Blind to Her Struggles 

It is really important to note that if medical professionals have difficulty identifying and treating women with the features of a psychotic break in postpartum, it would be a real challenge for close family members to identify it.  Family members, too close to the problem, are vulnerable to being blind to identify it for what it was due to the lack of understanding of postpartum psychosis.  They may have felt ashamed and confused how Lindsay may have presented with her symptoms, making it difficult for them to act on her behalf.  Her cries for help may have been heard, but not enough was done in response to address her medical emergency and keep her and her babies safe. 

Her Lost Spouse

Many people are wondering how Lindsay’s spouse, Patrick Clancy—with so much access to money, family support, and privilege—could find himself doing so little during this very precarious mental crisis his wife was enduring. More importantly, where was Patrick Clancy’s ability to care for his wife’s deteriorating mental health while he knowingly left his children daily? This case showed how Patrick Clancy did not respond and why it's important for spouses to get well informed and be available to respond appropriately.  

What people may often miss is that there are cases of Postpartum Psychosis where a woman’s spouse immediately responded. This likely did not happen in a vacuum, but rather in a context of a crisis action oriented response for the well being and safety of both mother and children. 

Her Journal Entries 

Journal entries serve a cathartic and beneficial purpose for many women who cope with anxiety and depression.  Journal writing was another outlet for Lindsay trying to figure out what was happening to her mind.  Many people avoid writing their thoughts down because they may fear it being exposed and misunderstood. This is part of the way it leaves people perpetually in their pain. Some may fear that their thoughts are too intense and difficult to manage.  There are various ways journal entries help women to understand their thoughts and feelings. In Lindsay’s journal entries it was apparent she desperately tried to piece together her intense experience of motherhood after having a baby. However, when a mother is in an acute psychosis it is a medical emergency to respond for the safety of the children and mother.  

The Mirror 

Many women see themselves reflected in parts of Lindsay Clancy’s story.  You may know of a mother or a family member who has dealt with psychosis in the postpartum period.  It likely is a difficult conversation to have as there may be shame around it especially if this was something you went through too.  This is where shame and secrecy intersect.  Mothers are very protective of their children and they worry about who will take care of their children if they are hospitalized.  They may fear that their child will be taken away due to mental health treatment.  

 It may be that many women understand how Lindsay Clancy was overlooked, inadequately treated, & misunderstood.  Mothers need help when they are in the most vulnerable time in postpartum while also caring for their other young children. Mothers deserve to feel supported even if it isn’t a medical emergency.  Currently, it may be that mothers have compassion for the scary, intrusive thoughts for which Lindsay Clancy repeatedly sought help for but it became clear that there were not adequate interventions. It may also be that moms can relate to dealing with intense personal issues while carrying the heavy load of parenting. Masking is also done in motherhood especially when there is pressure to keep up appearances when it may feel like depression or anxiety inside.  

Many women are survivors of complex trauma in their own childhood and leaving their children with others brings on a common profound terror that their own child will be harmed & that it was a direct result of a mother’s inaction.  

Hindsight is 20/20

  It is evident Lindsay Clancey reached out for help.  She sought help from psychiatrists and she was taking medication to help her with her anxiety.  Lindsay Clancey was even hospitalized and she was still facing a stark reality that no one would see her acute medical emergency.  We didn’t just witness this for the first time where a vulnerable mother is trying to navigate a complex medical system. Her symptoms were dismissed, she felt lost in how she was being cared for, and her symptoms of her mental health kept deteriorating.  Many mothers can have empathy for parts of Lindsay Clancy’s experience and many mothers may have experienced the same psychotic break but they got the help while she did not.  Others may feel empathy that, if circumstances were different, it could’ve been them.  

Lindsay’s children deserve to be honored. One of the best ways we can honor them is to learn from this case.  Allow for mental health services to be easily accessible for women suffering from any mood disorders but especially during a psychotic break.  Mental health professionals like psychiatrists and mental health professionals need to be able to see the acute medical emergency and respond immediately.  

As this case gets discussed more, it is my hope that the stigma lifts and it allows for adults in the room to respond appropriately for the safety of the mother and her children.  Family members can be curious and ask the mother if something feels off and act accordingly without hesitation in a trauma informed way.  Asking for help should not be a risk factor in getting the mental health services one may need.  This case also runs the risk of mothers getting scared of the fears around medication having a reverse impact.  If you are a mother that does take medication, it’s completely common to ask for your medication to be adjusted to the appropriate dosage.  In conjunction, family members can act as the buffers for a mother that is a danger to herself or her children.  

When we can identify the problem, talk through the issue, and then begin to respond in a preventative way, solutions appear more accessible.  As a provider for mothers, I offer EMDR therapy for individuals going through anxiety and depression. Reaching out when you need help is one of the bravest things to do for you and your family.  If you are looking for a bilingual (English/Spanish/Spanish) Latina therapist in North Carolina, South  Carolina, and in Illinois, I can be reached at therapy@veronicadelpino.com or at 803-573-0279.